Resetting Your Mindset

Leilani Anderson-Monroe

Hey, beautiful people, welcome back to Leilani’s Couch—your ten-minute dose of motivation, straight from the heart. If you’ve been riding with me for a while, you already know this isn’t some hour-long pep talk where you zone out by minute twenty. We keep it real, rapid-fire, and honest—like a shot of motivation espresso, right? Today’s episode is all about resetting your mindset, and, look, let’s start with this: have you ever caught yourself shrinking? Not literally—I'm talking about energetically, emotionally. That moment when you downplay your opinion, swallow your needs, or make yourself smaller so others can fill the room? Yeah, I lived there for years. Sometimes it creeps in even now, but let’s get into what it truly means to stop shrinking and actually take up space.

Leilani Anderson-Monroe

For so long, I thought being accommodating was a virtue. Especially as a Black woman in business—sometimes I felt like I had to take up less space to keep the peace or, you know, to be "likable." But if I’m honest, I was just dimming my own light. And you know what happened? Imposter syndrome crept in. I started questioning whether I belonged in those meetings, in front of those clients, on those stages. If you’re juggling motherhood, a career, side hustles, all that—imposter syndrome can literally slip in while you’re on autopilot, folding laundry and answering emails at the same time! I’ve been there. But you know what shifted it for me? Self-recognition. I had to acknowledge my own growth. My own power. Not a tag line—real, lived experience.

Leilani Anderson-Monroe

I’ll tell you a quick story I haven’t shared in a while. My very first big real estate deal—I’m talking, this was when I realized I could actually play in the “big leagues”—I almost let it pass by. I almost told myself I wasn’t “ready”—who was I to close a deal like that? But I caught myself. I said, no, I’m not shrinking. Not today. I walked into that closing, nerves and all, and literally just owned it—asked every question, asked for what I was worth. And you know what? That confidence triggered a domino effect. I got referrals. Got invited into new rooms, new partnerships—just because I decided to step into my own space rather than shrinking. Sometimes, the door won’t open unless you knock, right? Or kick it in, if you have to.

Leilani Anderson-Monroe

Now, here’s the thing. Embracing your space sounds good, but how do you keep that energy on days when everything feels like chaos? This podcast was born because I realized—hey, we might not have a whole hour every morning, but we all have ten minutes. That’s enough to realign your whole vibe. Quick resets—those are my secret sauce. Like, stop and take three real breaths before your next meeting. Or, if you’re like me, you keep a pad in your purse or you use that notes app to jot down one gratitude or intention—literally, micro-journaling while you wait for your coffee. Purposeful pauses sound tiny, but the ripple effect is huge. Especially for my fellow moms out there, business owners, or any woman with a plate so full it’s basically overflowing—these micro-habits are game changers.

Leilani Anderson-Monroe

One of my favorite rituals—okay, I know this sounds kind of corny, but hear me out—is sending myself little motivational voice notes on my phone. Sometimes it’s a pep talk, sometimes it’s just me reminding myself, "Girl, you did that." I do it in the car, in the kitchen, wherever. It’s my real-life accountability rewind button. And you can make your own ten-minute toolbox. Think: a playlist that fires you up, a sticky note mantra on your mirror, whatever works. These small, intentional rituals—they rewire your energy, your focus, your entire outlook for the day. And look, as we explored in that "Staying Motivated Every Day" episode, it's not about grand gestures or routines that take forever. It’s that daily, intentional check-in. Realignment that you build into your life, without the pressure of perfection.

Leilani Anderson-Monroe

Let’s be real—sometimes, a ten-minute reset is just the beginning. Real elevation happens when you face the storm, not hide from it. And I say that not as your motivational bestie, but as someone who’s walked through fire. In motherhood, in business, in identity, I’ve learned the most—not from the wins, but from the hits I took along the way. That’s why I talk a lot about not avoiding tough moments. You grow when you endure, not when you pretend it didn’t happen.

Leilani Anderson-Monroe

Here's the truth: I used to think healing meant “moving on.” But now, I know it’s actually about moving through. There’s a big difference between emotional avoidance and true healing. Sometimes, we distract ourselves with busyness or numb out on autopilot, thinking we’re getting better. But that just pushes the pain underground, and—trust me—it pops up later in ways you don’t expect. Choosing to pause, to sit with it, to process it—that’s where the elevation starts. Even if it hurts, especially when it hurts.

Leilani Anderson-Monroe

When I started Boss Women Network, I wasn’t some overnight success story. The launch was rocky—setbacks, doubts, you name it. There were moments I wondered, “Did I bite off more than I can chew?” But with every setback, I refined my mission. I doubled down on who I wanted to serve, and how. And that honesty—being willing to admit what wasn’t working—was what actually built community, not just followers. So, for you listening: whatever “fire” you’re walking through right now, ask yourself—what is it trying to teach me? Can I reframe this setback as a lesson? Write it down, even if it feels raw. That’s how you turn pain into power, and wounds into wisdom.

Leilani Anderson-Monroe

Alright, we’re about outta time. Just remember—this journey is all about progress, not perfection. If today was tough, restart tomorrow. If today was amazing, build on that energy. As always, you don’t have to walk through it alone. Ten minutes on this couch, together, can shift your day—or your whole direction. See you next time, and keep elevating.