You Are Not the Problem. Your Circle Was.

In this powerful episode, Leilani Anderson-Monroe opens up about her personal journey of feeling unseen, unsupported, and misjudged — even in spaces that claimed to be about sisterhood. She shares the hard truth about what happens when your ambition, authenticity, or light threatens insecure circles. Leilani explores how she went from being the problem in the room to being respected in the right rooms — all by upgrading her circle. From being judged for joking around to receiving silence when she needed support, this episode is a raw reminder that the issue was never her — it was misalignment. If you’ve ever felt like you had to shrink, soften, or silence yourself just to be accepted… this is your wake-up call. It’s time to align with women who celebrate your growth, honor your voice, and reflect your values. This is your reminder: You are not too much. You are just in the wrong room.

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Chapter 1

You Are Not the Problem. Your Circle Was.

Leilani Anderson-Monroe

Welcome back to Leilani’s Couch, where we speak truth, fuel purpose, and shift mindsets in ten minutes or less. I’m your host, Leilani Anderson-Monroe — and today, we’re pulling back the curtain on something real: Sometimes you’re not the problem. The problem is the circle you’re in let's unpack it.

Leilani Anderson-Monroe

For years, I struggled to connect with other women — and I couldn’t figure out why. I accepted people as they were. I didn’t judge. I led with compassion, character, and care. That’s who I am. That’s always been my standard

Leilani Anderson-Monroe

But somehow, I was the one constantly misunderstood. Everything I did felt like a problem. If I shared a struggle, I became the topic of gossip. If I tried to joke, it was taken personally. If I opened up, it was used against me. Meanwhile, the same women could share their pain, their drama, their chaos — and be met with comfort and compassion.But me? I got silence. Side-eyes. Shade. And at some point, I had to ask myself: Why is grace a group activity until it comes to me?

Leilani Anderson-Monroe

That’s when I realized something life-changing: I wasn’t the issue — the energy around me was. The truth? I had outgrown the environment. I was often the one bringing the most to the table: the most ambition, the most vision, and yes — often the only married one. But instead of being respected, I was resented. Instead of being embraced, I was examined.

Leilani Anderson-Monroe

And let’s be honest — when you’re the one healing, building, or elevating, you become a mirror. And not everyone likes what they see when they’re forced to look at their own reflection. I used to believe sisterhood meant you could laugh together, cry together, talk about the hard stuff, and still show up with love. But I learned — the wrong circle will make you feel like showing up as yourself is too much.

Leilani Anderson-Monroe

So here’s my message for you today: Stop shrinking to be accepted. Stop softening your strength just to be tolerated. You are not the problem. You’ve just been in rooms that weren’t built to hold your brilliance. The moment I started aligning with women who were secure in who they were — everything shifted. Women who had done the work. Women who could celebrate without competing. Women who could sit at the table and bring something besides ego.

Leilani Anderson-Monroe

That’s when I finally felt seen. That’s when I remembered: You don’t need to change who you are. You need to change who you’re around. So don’t give up on sisterhood. Don’t give up on your voice. Don’t give up on your growth. Just elevate your circle to match the woman you’re becoming

Leilani Anderson-Monroe

Thank you for spending this time with me on Leilani’s Couch. If this episode hit home, share it with a sister who’s ready to upgrade her environment and reclaim her power. Until next time — keep rising, keep shining, and most of all… keep choosing you.